Illuminate the ‘no’s on their vacancy signs

Love of mine some day you will die,
But I’ll be close behind.
I’ll follow you into the dark.

I really want to see you
Really want to be with you
Really want to see you, lord
But it takes so long, my lord

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white;
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs:

If there’s no one beside you,
When your soul embarks;
Then I’ll follow you into the dark.

 

It’s a heartache
Nothing but a heartache
Love him till your arms break
Then he let’s you down

It ain’t right with love to share
When you find he doesn’t care, for you
It ain’t wise to need someone
As much as I depended on, you
 

I waited in the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon
That you’d walk right through that door
And love me
Liked you tried before

Now that you’re gone
All that’s left is a band of gold
All that’s left of the dreams I hold
Is a band of gold
And the memories of what love could be
If you were still here with me
 

I’ve been holding out so long
I’ve been sleeping all alone
Lord I miss you
I’ve been hanging on the phone
I’ve been sleeping all alone
I want to kiss you

Well, I’ve been haunted in my sleep
You’ve been starring in my dreams
Lord I miss you
I’ve been waiting in the hall
Been waiting on your call
When the phone rings
It’s just some friends of mine that say,
“Hey, what’s the matter man?

 

I’ll never be your beast of burden
I’ve walked for miles my feet are hurting
All I want is you to make love to me

 

Who knows how long I’ve loved you,
You know I love you still,
Will I wait a lonely lifetime,
If you want me to I will.

 

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I’ll go, but I know
I’ll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you
I will always love you

 

 

Jamaica? No, she went on her own.

I feel like I’m slowly but surely losing Christopher.

His affection is…pretty much nonexistant when we’re on the phone or the computer or what have you.

When we’re together..I don’t know, it goes either way, but typically we’ll end up cuddling or whatever.

I just don’t know anymore.  I love him so much still.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much this hurts.  PAhflahsflasfbagvpvha.  I hope that his interest in me isn’t completely gone by the summer.  I want his love back so badly =[  I want what we had.  Why, oh why, can’t it be like that again??

I LOVE HIM! D=

 

 

I think this break is just ripping him away from me even more.  Hopefully, it won’t get to the point where he just doesn’t want to come back.  God fucking damn this.  God fucking damn this dreadful year.  God fucking damn my broken heart.